Analoge April : Starting Young.

I was addicted.

There’s no softer way to say it.

I would lie in bed telling myself, “Turn your phone off. Pick up your book.” And even though I knew that’s what I wanted to do, I couldn’t make myself stop scrolling. My brain was asking for rest. My thumb kept moving anyway.

That was my wake-up call.

When I finally deleted Instagram from my phone, it wasn’t because I was angry at it. It was because I didn’t like how I felt anymore. The comparison. The subtle competitiveness. The endless stream of news and opinions flooding my mind at bedtime. The pressure to create, comment, stay relevant.

I kept thinking it would fill me up. Instead, it was quietly draining me.

The first few days were eye-opening. I reached for my phone constantly. Out of boredom. Out of habit. Out of reflex. It was uncomfortable to see how automatic it had become. But within a few days, the craving eased. The muscle relaxed.

And in its place? Space.

I read more. I intentionally choose what I consume now - specific news sources, long-form articles, podcasts that actually nourish me. Sometimes that’s something light and fun. Sometimes it’s a deep historical dive. But it’s chosen. Not fed to me.

What surprised me most, though, was how this decision connected to my son.

I have a five-year-old. And I don’t ever want him to remember me as a mom who was always half-looking at him over the top of her phone.

We’ve always tried to be thoughtful about screens. No TV running in the background. Designated show times. Ideally watching together.

But we had our weak spots. Mealtime used to be one of them. We gave him a screen to get him to eat. It felt like a solution at the time. In hindsight, it was a coping mechanism - for us. We were the ones who didn’t want the discomfort. We were the ones numbing.

So we stopped.

We braced for a meltdown.

It never came.

He adjusted almost immediately. In fact, he seems happier. More engaged. Dinner is now conversation. Sometimes books or coloring help ease the transition, but the screen is gone.

Analoge Breakfast Time

And the truth is, the same was true for me. I thought removing Instagram would feel like deprivation. It feels like relief.

We were not as dependent as we feared. We were just in the habit.

I’m sharing this because I’m genuinely shocked at how much lighter I feel. More present. More fulfilled. Less fragmented. The difference in my daily happiness is undeniable.

We are not powerless against our devices. We can say no. We can model boundaries. And in doing so, we give our children - and ourselves - something better.

Analog April feels like a celebration now. Not of restriction, but of freedom.

Laura Rowley